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Citrine Spirit

Photo Blog - May 2022

5/9/2022

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The moon is an endless source of inspiration and her visions are prevalent in my life. You can see here a blend of a full moon glowing in the distance and a spring frost that in my opinion resembles the moons surface textures. I then blended the two images together and played with color layers. 
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Check Out This Video About How Crystals Form!

4/25/2022

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This video gives a bit of detail about how crystals form and what they are made of. 
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Mixed Emotions

4/8/2022

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I took a load of old make up and threw it across a canvas then coated it in modpodge. The end result was a messy blob of colorful chemical filled tubes and bottles. The motion was fulfilling. Very satisfying. The makeup littered canvas is the background on these rose gold chrome portraits I took  this morning. Make up.. the eternal masking of our real faces. So we can look ‘better’ and feel good about ourselves. I see both sides but at the end of the day, when all the coatings are gone - do you see yourself? Can you love your skin, all of its pores and what maybe considered ‘imperfections’? Are you nourishing your skin or poisoning yourself with pigments and chemicals? 
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The notion of putting makeup on daily never sat well with me. I can see using makeup for special occasions like photo sessions or fancy events. It always felt good to get makeup done for fashion shows but damn, SO MANY products go into that process! As I mature, realizing the ingredients inside of make up gives me even more skepticism. Why do we, women in particular, coat our faces in harmful chemicals and call it beauty? This is something I do not understand. Issues with acne? Cover it up. What? WHY? Makeup will worsen the skin conditions. 
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 For this month's self portraits, I painted my face a soft pink chrome using Mehron Metallic Powder with Mehron Mixing Liquid. Adding only a redish pink Mac Cosmetics lipstick and black Lancome mascara. I recently chopped all my hair off so you can really see my face. When it came time to edit the photographs, I collaged photos of the makeup mess canvas with portraits of me. Looking at the anaglyph layers revealing my face reminds me of how it feels to wear layers of makeup. Can you really see me? Am I putting a mask on to comfort others? Do people's opinions matter? What is beauty?
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Ever since my wisdom teeth were removed, it seems like my face is completely different. I lost fragments of my jaw in that process. Looking back on it, I might have been more skeptical and careful about who did the procedure. I've gained a little weight too. After the last couple years of locking in. As much as I've felt physically inactive, my focus and priorities have been on point. But work for workings sake is leaving me a a bit spiritually drained. I've never felt so isolated and simultaneously connected to everyone. It's a strange duality. I've never felt so unnatural yet understanding of nature at the same time. I think this in between is why I am struggling to see  physical beauty at this time. What is really real any more? Is there any sense of community or agreeing lately? I am not sure. 
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The art I've been creating lately is leading me to new thoughts and ideas. Lately I've been painting a piece for an art call with the theme of 'Belonging' which has produced some interesting thoughts and conversations between Craig and I. I've been have an internal dialogue as well. What does it mean to belong? Is it good? Is it bad? A necessity? Again, I'm just not sure. This topic of belonging is one I've struggled with for many years. Exploring the topic has been kind of therapeutic. It's a chance to take a look within at what walls I have, the lines I've drawn in the sand, the spaces and terms I use to define myself or try to fit into. Where do I feel I belong? Scratch that - What do I want?
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This era of social media is interesting to witness. People are changing over night. There are happenings all over the world and we can view it all at a click of a button. Face Filters. Cutting Ties. Processing all the lies. Reading between the lines. There is so much to slash through to get to the truth of the reality. And then again the question of 'What is real?' flashes up on the minds eye. Ugh. It becomes apparent to me that the technology is what confuses me. It's what seems to knock me off my path less traveled. I have to step back from it all. It's addicting to watch everything that everyone is doing all the time. We know this. Companies know this. Documentaries are endlessly published about this phenomenon. The mind control. The attention trap. The perfect beauty. The endless immaculate imagery of life. Our most positive side. The wins only. Where do we show the tough sides of life? I feel like that's what human contact is about. Comfort. Company. Other living beings, around your living being. You're existing together. Hearts beating. Minds thinking. 
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I miss being around people. Staying connected online is not the same thing as being around some one for real. I understand it takes huge effort to keep friends and personal connections. Now more than ever. After spending so much time inside and online, I am ready to meet at the bar! I feel amazing. I am in love with life but I want to reconnect with old friends and colleagues. That's what throwing away old makeup made me think about! The perceived layers. The ideas about ourselves and others we make up over time. We're just human. All that online stuff and makeup doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. 
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Custom Jewel - Mala Prayer Bead Necklace

3/31/2022

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​Petrified Wood Mala Prayer Necklace with Black Onyx and Smokey Quartz. What a process to prepare for the making of this piece. First I made 3 sample necklaces. I wanted to experiment with bead sizes and cord types. I worked with Hemp Cord and S-lon Cord which is made of nylon. I ultimately decided to make the final product with S-Lon because I could thread the beads with a beading needle and the cord would be doubled.
The knotting process was smooth with the S-Lon cord. The grip of the material is nice. It also has a nice shine to it. (The only other cord material I'd like to try in the future would be Silk.) The Hemp Cord broke while making the first iteration of the Petrified Wood Mala Necklace. I was about 2/3 finished with the piece! (CRYING) But honestly, I was grateful for the opportunity to perfect this piece. I started a new necklace once again on the Hemp Cord but after making the piece half way through, it dawned on me that the S-Lon would be the superior way to make this piece. I didn't want to risk the Hemp Cord snapping when the wearer went to use this necklace for Prayer or to wear. I technically made this necklace 3 times!! ​
Ultimately, I am very proud of the quality of this necklace. many hours and lots of preparation went into its creation. There are 108 prayer beads made of Petrified Wood, 3 Onyx marker beads and one large hole guru bead made of Smokey Quartz. I made this necklace in one continuous piece. Starting from one side knotting in the patter of 21 prayer beads, 1 marker, 33 prayer beads, 1 marker, 33 prayer beads, 1 marker, 21 prayer beads, then taking the ends from each side of the knotted strand through the large hold guru bead, knotting, and creating the 4 strand tassel. The making process could not have flowed any easier. 
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It was a pleasure to make this necklace. I know he will love it! Cheers to new ideas, beautiful creations, custom jewelry, and learning as we go. Much LOVE! 
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Leslie F. King Book Signing @ Ladies Library Kalamazoo

3/31/2022

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Few topics are as gut wrenching as a person recalling, reciting, and remembering  past traumatic sexual experiences. Especially when the timeline begins from childhood. But Leslie F. King is real enough to share her story and does it from an incredibly empowered place. Today at the Ladies Library Association in Kalamazoo an intimate group of people gathered to listen to Leslie read the first chapter of her new book 'When Angels Fight'. Her voice is strong, with a bull shit shattering confidence. There is nothing quite like listening to a person who has lived through such extenuating circumstances then evolving past that kind of pain. My mother gifted me a copy of her book and I'll be reading through it. It was a beautiful day full of healing energy. The weather was very gray, fluctuating between snow and rain giving the stained and painted glass windows an even glow. The lighting was perfect for my 50mm lens. I got some fantastic photographs from the signing. Met many great people too! 
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    About the Author

     Hi, My name is Citrine, I love to paint and make jewelry. I love gemstones, traveling, style, fine art, and making delicious food. I live by optimism and gratitude. My foundation is creative exploration, self portraiture, and photography. It is my destiny to inspire and create a sense of joy through entrepreneurship.

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